Cannes Film Festival 2016

21 Photos

Ze cineastes et ze film loverz of ze world traveled to ze South of Franssss today for ze most important film festival in ‘istory. (That’s our try at a French accent, can you tell?) Woody Allen’s newest work, Cafe Society, had its world premiere tonight as the festival’s opening film.

On the Red Carpet, the name of the game was more is more, with actors donning sequins and over-the-top gowns that looked like they were designed in a pastry shop for a Tsarina. Susan Sarandon showing up looking as carefree and “I do not give AF” as she has since she rode into the Grand Canyon in Thelma and Louise, in sunglasses and a suit stolen from Diane Keaton, metaphorically speaking. Woody Allen was his creepy usual self, lurking like the troll that he is next to Amazonian blonde Blake Lively, who stars in his new film.

As The New York Times reported, everyone continued the long media tradition of ignoring the Elephant in the Room — allegations that Allen sexually abused his daughter when she was a child. Earlier in the morning, his son had penned a column in The Hollywood Reporter in which he blamed the media for its complicity in protecting Allen and not addressing the allegations more often.